www

Another incredible week. Not in a good way however. Everything blew up at work, not just not meeting client expectations and the client running it all the way up to the top in our organization, but also major blowups within our own group. It's been ugly, to say the least. I know it will all work out and things will improve, but even if they don't, hey, I have plenty of other options. I am just happy the controversy does not really involve me.

In other words, the honeymoon is over! Don't get me wrong, I still love my job, but let's just say I can definitely pick out all the faults now. I did eat lunch with former coworkers today and it sounds like they are not having anymore fun than myself.

In other news, when I got home this evening, all was quiet. Hubby has the kids at swimming lessons and they are not due home for a half hour, so I poured a glass of wine and jumped on the computer. Why, I don't know since I spend all day on the computer at work, but I guess it is just a habit. Checked email. Oh, fantasy football draft tomorrow. Insert groan here. I hate football. Nothing else too exciting. Hopped over to the internet and not feeling creative, check the drop down list for ideas to surf.

And there I find www frootloops com. No periods, just spaces. I will have to assume the boy's been on the computer.

Songs

The boy heard a song on the radio that he really liked, so hubby promised to download it for him. Off he went searching for "Missing You Boy". I came into the office halfway into the process at the same time hubby realized the lyrics were actually "Promiscuous Boy". Nice. Real nice.

Playing house

I just watched my daughter play house with a stuffed pig, a giant stuffed Winnie the Pooh, and a Dora the Explorer. She put the babies in her car and drove the kids to school. She dropped them off at school and then went on to work. Of course she put on her lipstick and took her purse before leaving.

Catching up

After being out of town the previous two weekends and working like a dog last week, I was more than happy to have a three day weekend at home. The boy and I spent some quality time together Friday, his last day of summer. We spent a good portion of Saturday with my parents and then the kids and I went to a party Saturday evening. They have a son the boy's age and a girl the daughter's age so it was a fun time for all. They happen to live two blocks from our house, in the adjoining neighborhood but since we live in a snooty gated neighborhood, we had to hop a fence to walk over.

Sunday, hubby arrived home from a red eye flight at the same time we all climbed out of bed, so I rounded up the kids and headed back to my folks so he could sleep for a few hours. We had friends over Sunday afternoon and spent time at the pool and catching up.

This morning, we walked the boy to his first day of first grade. My, it is going by so fast.

Deadlines

Wow! What a week. Two major deadlines this week and we sort-of made one and the other one is due tomorrow. I now have until next Monday to insure the first big deliverable is actually completed. I think my family is wondering if I still exist....

Teach the children well

While at the beach, the boy had to pee. And being the lazy parents that we are and instead of taking him all the way back to the locker rooms by the parking area, hubby told him to pee in the ocean. Not understanding the nuances of peeing in the ocean, the boy proceeds to walk into the water about ankle deep and pull down his swim suit. STOP! Hubby yells! That's not how you pee in the ocean! Walk out until you're waist deep and just pee through your shorts. Really, the boy asks incredulously? Through my shorts?

On the way home from Galveston, I bought us each a drink and told the kids to please not drink all 16 ounces of water or we'd never make it home without one last visit to a public restroom. Of course they finish the water and 15 miles from home the boy shouts- I HAVE TO GO NOW OR I WILL PEE ON MYSELF!!!! I was able to distract him long enough until we made it into our driveway where he proceeds to jump out of the truck and pee on the side of the house.

I presume we have no room to complain after the ocean incident....

Family vacation

School starts in one week and we decided it was time to squeeze in a family vacation. Saturday morning, we packed up the kids and headed down to Galveston. We arrived at Schlitterbahn shortly after it opened. Obviously, we were not the only ones with the same idea. It was packed! We left in the afternoon to grab some lunch, check into the hotel, and let the kids relax a little and returned in the evening.

Sunday morning after breakfast, we dipped the kids in the pool quickly, cleaned up and checked out. Then we took the ferry over to Bolivar peninsula. We saw dolphins swimming off in the distance. We drove around Bolivar a bit and then headed back across on the ferry, ate lunch, and then stopped at the beach for sun and fun.

It was great trip and just about the right length of time with a 3 year old and 6 year old.

Time is a wasting

How sad is it that I just spent an hour taking meaningless quizzes on blogthings?

Wait- don't answer that.

This one struck home

Ok, getting a little lazy with the blogging. I was running through the quizzes on this website and this one definitely hit me. I am very open and will talk about anything and everything, but I definitely have a wall up around me. Really only one person has access inside that wall, my husband and there has been times that not even he had access. Not sure what that 'one big dream' is, unless it's to be independently wealthy :)

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.You say whatever is on your mind. Other people's reactions don't phase you.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

How Do You Live Your Life?

What do you think?

This assessment is only done with a birthday and I must admit, this is how I think of myself. You Are A Rowan Tree

You are full of charm and cheer. You light up a room.And while you crave attention, you do it without ego.You are an interesting mix of contradictions - and very unpredictable.You are both dependent and independent, calm and restless.You are passionate, emotional, gregarious, and (at times) unforgiving.

What's" Your Celtic Horoscope?

*Thanks to my friend Lee over at A Curate's Egg

Weekend wrap up

The resort was UNBELIEVABLE. The scenery was wonderful, the food divine, the wine glass never ending. Gift baskets appeared in my room during the day. I like how the other half live. Most (ok, all except my small group) were CEO's, president, vice president. And then there was myself and my two coworkers.

Friday evening was cocktails and then a really nice dinner. First time I'd had 50 year aged balsamic vinegar. Saturday was golf and I tried my best, which was definitely not good enough. I've only played once and it was 7 years ago. I enjoyed it so much, I am planning on taking lessons. Saturday afternoon was lunch, then a hot stone massage and a little swimming followed up with another cocktail hour and dinner. I decided to give my team a reprieve and let someone who knew how to golf play in my place.

Hubby came up with the kids Saturday evening, although he made it in too late to join me for dinner. Sunday, we ate breakfast with one of my coworkers family- wife and twin 4 year olds and then hung out at the pool for a few hours. From there, we headed up to visit our friends/business partners in Temple. The kids played and we talked trailer park and then stopped by the trailer park on the way out of town for a quick meeting with the manager.

We didn't get home until 10:30 Sunday evening and I was so incredibly sore from golf. Which is not surprising considering how many times I'd have to swing to make contact :)

Monday morning we met with the architect and gave him our comments on the plans. Hopefully we can get some momentum going with that and actually build the house in our lifetime. Maybe.

Oh please stop the abuse!

The parting words from my previous company when I gave my notice were "They will abuse you and when they do, you can come back here."

In a few hours I am heading off for a free golf and spa weekend with some coworkers at Barton Creek in Austin. Please, stop the abuse!!!

Hello Daddy!

You know the hubby is gone too much when the kids start imagining that their daddy is home, but he's invisible.

SO confused

I met with the architect Saturday morning and picked up the sketches. We gave him a ton of constraints to work with and he was unable to meet them all (surprise, surprise). Unfortunately, the ones he didn't meet were the ones we really wanted. I have had a few days to digest and think them through and I feel like what he designed for us works really well for us now and gives us a lot of room to grow into. There are two huge issues in my mind, though. One, I think the house is too big for the lot and I think it is going to be too expensive to build. He did nail the exterior- we love the way it looks from the front of the house.

Hubby finally got a reprieve from his job and came home last night. He hates the plans. He thinks they are too complicated and way more than we need. I am going to let him digest them today and see what he thinks tonight. One of the activities I spent most of Saturday working on was creating to scale representations of our furniture. It really helped me understand the plans spatially.

Yesterday, my folks finally got back from their second vacation of the month (first to France, now to Colorado), so I gave them a few hours to rest and then took the kids over and spent all day at their house. We went to the little, old house and marked up the trees on the plans. Unfortunately, the 80+ year old elm tree is not going to make it. The location is right in the middle of the lot and it would block the driveway. I do think we can save the huge pecan in front.

I would like to meet with a builder who made our short list and see if he can give us a rough estimate. I am extremely nervous to hear that number. It still seems surreal that we are actually building a house, a house exactly like we want and a house that we plan to stay in for many, many years. It feels good.

Stupid people post

Driving home from the in-laws last evening, I was amazed to see a grown man walking in the middle of my lane with headphones on in the dark. He didn't even hear me come up behind him. There are perfectly good sidewalks on either side of the street and at the very least, why not walk facing traffic? It did cross my mind to get up really close and honk.

Comedians, trampolines, lions

I had a lovely post written about this weekend and blogger crashed on me. I will briefly recap the weekend:

Friday was an off day for work, so I managed to tick off items on my to do list that I had rescheduled for months. The boy's summer program had a talent show Friday afternoon which included singing, dancing, comedians, and an art gallery. We visited with my aunt and uncle and cousin who came into town Friday evening. The kids were very excited to see my cousin as it has been months since he was in town last.

Saturday was the girl's birthday party. It was at a gymnastics studio and they sang songs, played on the rings, the balance beams, and the trampoline. The kids seemed to enjoy the party and I loved the fact that I didn't have to entertain 16 kids in my house.

Sunday evening the four of us went to dinner and then to watch the Lion King. It held their interest for nearly 3 hours, which is a testament to the entertainment value. I would highly recommend seeing it.

Work sucks!

Not my job! Last week was hubby's birthday and this week was the girl's. And since we have so much extended family in the area, I have to throw a separate birthday party for family and for friends. I decided on last Sunday for the family party since hubby would be home and I could lump him into the party- you know, so he doesn't feel shafted :)

Saturday evening we find out that his @#$%# job has moved his days off and now he has to be at work 1 hour before the birthday party was due to begin. I begged him to call scheduling and explain the situation. No one makes the guest of honor miss his own party, right? Right?

In the company of men

I hate it when I am the only female in the room and during a meeting someone will use an expletive and either excuse themselves or make a comment such as "we'll have to ask Courtney to leave the room". It offends me more that it is assumed that because I am female I have sensitive ears than an ugly word ever could. Besides, I've been know to cuss like a sailor at times. I just don't get it.

Disturbing

Does anyone else find this disturbing? Please keep in mind that she is 3.

Dream vacation

This coming September is our 10th wedding anniversary. I would like to go some place special, but there are several obstacles in the way. We already have travel plans the middle of the month with the entire extended family for a long weekend. We have concert tickets to Queensryche that I have been dying to see for years 2 days before our anniversary. And hubby doesn't have any vacation this year. Since we are in the process of building our dream house, it will have to be fairly cheap.

Any trip that we take will likely be short, last minute, and relatively inexpensive, but I really want it to be special and different. It is not enough time to go overseas, but I don't want it to be within driving distance either. Any ideas?

Hospital, graveyard, and airplanes

I have a new niece! And she is a doll. She was born on Friday and mother-in-law went to the hospital Friday afternoon to meet her. The rest of the weekend was quality time with the kids. I was home alone and one set of babysitters was in France, the other tied up with my niece and nephew, and hubby was out of town.

Saturday, I took the kids to the swim school for a makeup lesson. Later that afternoon, we visited a graveyard near our house that we pass twice a day on our normal commute. The boy has been begging to go in, so I obliged this weekend. Some of the headstones were from the early 1800's and the most recent were the 1920's. Very interesting, but a little creepy.

Then we went to Mickie D's to fill the kids full of high fructose corn syrup and trans fats. It was raining and they have a nice indoor playground for the kids to burn off some energy. Then I made a brave attempt at the dollar store for goodie bag treats for the girl's birthday party.

Sunday, we met hubby at the airport as he had 5 hours between flights. Because he had 5+ hours of 'sit' time, per the contract, the company is obligated to provide a hotel room. So we brought a swim suits and had a great time hanging out at the pool, watching the airplanes fly overhead.

Oh, and I have a sinus infection now and I am thinking that cutting my head off might be less painful.

Sick, frustrated, and amused

I have been fighting a cold since last weekend. The kids both had it and I did hold out for nearly a week before it hit me. I spent Saturday and Sunday of last week in bed, resting. We had the in-laws over that evening and that was the most activity I had all weekend long. I went into the office on Monday and what a boring day that was! Almost everyone was out.

Tuesday, we went to my brother and sis in law's house to watch the 4th of July parade in their neighborhood then the kids swam in their pool. I went back to bed for most of the day and then we went for a late dinner and watched the fireworks.

Wednesday was back to work. I am getting a little frustrated because I am learning all of the systems and tools and most of my coworkers will be out at different times this month. I want to be fully on board and useful, but am far from it and that is bothering me. Most of the tools are home grown and have been developed over time and lack any instructions on use. I am afraid it will take awhile to get up to speed.

Today is my off Friday and I am trying to get caught up on everything around the house. My sister-in-law gave birth to baby #3 this morning, so I am going to stop by the hospital later this afternoon for a peek at my new niece.

On an unrelated note, the boy is becoming even more fascinated with religion and god and "bad god" and the word that is a bad word: h e double chopsticks. He asks everyone about their beliefs. My parents are Christian and my in-laws are Jewish, so he is getting quite a variety of answers. My favorite is when he asked the day care manager if she believed in god and then proceeded to tell her that his parents didn't. We've had several conversations recently about boundaries and what is polite to discuss in public and what is not :) I really want to feed this curiosity, but hubby and I are disagreeing on how to do that. I want to send him to church with my grandparents and to also expose him to different religions. I want him to learn about all religions so that we will have compassion and understanding. Maybe we do need to look into the Unitarian church.

I have your pictures

I finally sent out my new work information late last week. I didn't get a computer until Tuesday afternoon and then I was busy trying to set up my new tools. Voice mail on office phone. Activate cell phone. Voice mail on cell phone. Set passwords, install software, remember how to get back to the car at the end of the day. After 5 days, I am fairly comfortable with finding my way through the maze of buildings. My last employer was a maze as well, but the buildings were labeled alphabetically. A, B, C, D. My new building? E, C, T, R.... huh? I hear they used to mean something. My favorite spot is where E, C, and M intersect. One of these days I might fill in the '=" and '2'. I'm a dork, I already know that so no need to inform me.

Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh, yes. I sent out my contact information and almost immediately, I get back a message from my former computer guy. Apparently I'd left a CD in my laptop and it was full of family pictures. Attached to the message was a picture of me, in a particularly goofy pose. Nice.

Update: Might as well post for all to make fun of....

Honeymoon

I understand that I am in the honeymoon phase with my new employer, but I know that I made the right decision for me. I feel that I have learned more in the last 2 days that I learned in many, many months before. I feel that I am a human first, with family obligations, and an employee second. I feel that I am appreciated, respected, and expected to do my job in whatever capacity I am able. I am free to come in when I choose, leave when I choose, work the schedule I choose, to work from home when I choose, to procure the necessary instruments to do my job as I choose, and to just get the work done. I finally feel like I am a true salaried employee, not a instrument to bill hours to make the company money. I feel like I am a team member and contributor. I am asked for my opinions and am actually expected to give them. I have an office environment that is conducive for me to work- an office door that I can close as needed and a window so that I do not feel totally disconnected from the earth. I am so glad I decided to go through this process. I already know that I will be challenged like I have never been challenged before and that more will be expected of me than ever before. I know that I will also be appreciated for those efforts. Wish me luck- this may be the last free time I have in awhile!

Willy Wonka

I decided that it is just too hot to carry around a head full of hair this summer. Friday, I had about 8 inches chopped off and I love it. When I picked the girl up from school, she just started laughing and playing with my hair and exclaimed CUTE! When I picked the boy up from school, he looked at me funny but didn't say anything. Later he asked if I cut my hair. Yes, I answered- do you like it? His response? It's kinda weird- you look like Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory. But I like it.

Vultures

Life in cubeville is tough. So tough, that the most mundane of office supplies take on mystical qualities. The nice gel pens that quickly leave the supply cabinet and are replaced with the cheap, leaky pens. Hole punches that can punch more than one sheet of paper at a time are coveted. So, it shouldn't surprise me that as soon as my departure was announced, the vultures moved in. When's your last day? We want your office. Anyone have tabs on your chair?

Which leaves me with a question. Are the hole punch and stapler company property? What about the half used pencils and highlighters?

Stupid, stupid, stupid

Have you ever done something so stupid that you amaze even yourself? I have been complaining for a couple of months because the TV in our bedroom was out. I need the TV to watch for a few minutes in the evening so that my brain can finally shut down and stop racing through my massive 'to do' list.

The satellite box was acting up, so I unplugged it and let it reboot. Only I unplugged the TV on accident and when I plugged it back in, it would not turn on. I finally convinced hubby to take the TV in to get it repaired. After extricating the TV from the entertainment center, he looked at me with total amazement in his eyes. IT ISN'T PLUGGED IN!!!!

I had accidently plugged the in the VCR, thinking it was the TV. D'oh!

Happy Father's Day

Today, 6 years ago, my husband became a father. And our fathers became grandfathers. That is a gift that is impossible to top.

Happy Father's Day!

Set the date

I finally received confirmation on my start date at my new employer. They won't set the date until the background check and drug test clear. I already had my last day scheduled at my current employer for next week and was getting a little nervous. I found out yesterday that I will begin the following Monday. And that he'd never seen someone pass through the screening process so quickly. I must be extremely boring.

Strange dream

Whenever I can remember my dreams, it is always a treat. And mildly disturbing. The other night, one involved Julia Roberts, a cruise ship, Fighting Texas Aggie Band, business partner, husband, kids, current supervisor and a kidnapper.

I was working in this large computer lab and was unhappy. My current supervisor kept yelling at me about my work quality and quantity. (Actually, that is close to my current reality). So, I decided to quit and just walked out. When I left the building, I found myself on the river walk at the Woodlands and a crowd had gathered. A very pregnant Julia Roberts was on a cruise ship passing through. A parade had formed, including the Aggie band. However, when the ship passed through, it was so large, it created a wake that started destroying the river walk. Myself and another girl standing next to me were able to slow down the cruise ship and saved the lives of thousands.

After I saved the day, I ran into hubby, our business partner, and my kids. I needed to take a shower after playing hero, but I didn't want to lose sight of the kids, so I just took a shower out in the open. That is when a couple of strangers tried to distract me so they could kidnap my kids. That is when the alarm went off.....

Saying good bye

A chapter of my life is about to close. Ten years of developing relationships with my coworkers. Ten years of work, stress, laughter, and sharing. This has been an extremely difficult decision, but one that I needed to make.

I have told a few people, but I am letting the rumor mill do most of the work. I told one of the people working for me today and she started crying! I tried explaining the feeling to hubby (who has never worked an office job) and likened it to Norm walking into the bar at Cheers. His response? So, everyone's drunk all the time?

I leave behind great friends, great experiences, and gratitude for all the opportunities I was given.

Correction

Sometimes I wish my kids would stay the same age they are today. They are so cute and innocent and fun loving. I especially enjoy the moments that remind how much they still have to learn- like when they mispronounce words in some adorable interpretation. Sometimes I don't correct them just so I can hear it over and over again. I know these words will slowly drift out of my memory and I won't truly remember what it was like to live these precious moments with my children.

Last night was just such a night. I was completely stressed because I left work late, picked up the girl at her school, and had to stop by the store to order the cake for the boy's birthday party Saturday and pick up a few other things. I had exactly 30 minutes to do all of that and get to the boy's school to pick him up. As to be expected, I chose the line that took FOREVER. Four people in the line next to me had already checked out and loaded up their car by the time I reached the front of mine. I ran to the truck, threw the food in and raced off to get the boy and reached him right on time. Which left me 10 minutes to get to the dry cleaners before they closed. I hurried the kids into the truck, zoomed over to the cleaners, and got there 2 minutes before they closed.

Finally home, the kids were tired and hungry and we were an hour later than usual. I searched for something quick in the pantry for the kids- can of mini ravioli. While sitting around the dinner table, we all relaxed and talked about our day. And the girl kept referring to the ravioli as "crabioli". So cute.

Finally decided

I am dreading the conversation I will have at work on Monday. Wish me luck...

Creepy

The girl, who will be three in July, told me several months ago about an older sister of hers who died in a fire. It didn't really strike me as much at the time, but she has since stuck with the story. Last evening, she told us more details. Her name was Katelyn and she was at home alone at grandma's house. No one else died in the fire. Ok, starting to get a little creepy. This evening, hubby asked the girl where Katelyn was. The girl told us that she died in the fire. Now I'm completely freaked out. I'VE never had a daughter names Katelyn, must less one who died in a fire. Is she remembering a past life or does she have and overactive and retentive memory?

Weekend recap

Yes, I know it is Tuesday. Friday was the usual swimming lessons for the kids. Saturday I had to work and hubby took the kids to two different birthday parties. He deserves a gold star for that one. Saturday evening we met up with a large group of friends to celebrate one's birthday. We had a great time and cameras were flashing all night as if the paparazzi were in tow.

At the restaurant, I was startled to see an attendant in the ladies restroom. I walk towards the sink and she turns it on for me and then pumps a squirt of soap in my hand. Next she hands me a towel to dry my hands. I presume at this point I was supposed to tip, but since my purse was still at the table that was an impossibility. As I am walking out of the restroom, she says "have a great evening!". And to this I answer- you, too! Right. She's going to have a great evening sitting in the ladies restroom.

Sunday we took care of stuff around the house and went grocery shopping. That evening we took the kids to the neighborhood pool. It was evident that our year long commitment to swimming lessons for the kids had paid off. They both are fish and swam until they could hardly see straight.

Small, medium, or large?

When it boils down to it, that is the question to answer. I am trying not to think about it until I have investigated all three options, but I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about it continuously.

I have started my spreadsheet, I will fill out the positives and negatives for each option, but in the end, it will be a gut check. Which one feels right? I just don't know.

Change

Change is imminent. It is time to move on, to grow, to push myself outside of my comfort zone. And now is the right time to do it.

Gum

The kids LOVE gum. I HATE pulling it out of the carpet, floor boards in the car, off the bottom of my shoe. And that is where it always ends up. If for some mystical reason it actually ends up in the trash can, it will be the moment between taking out the full bag before putting in a fresh trash bag.

The car is the worst and the kids are not allowed to have it in the car anymore. Without thinking, I pulled a piece out my purse while driving to knock out the horrendous garlic laden breath I was sporting. I remembered the kids in the back that see EVERYTHING and I slowly pulled my hand out of my purse, unwrapped it in my lap, and turned my head to quickly put in my mouth.

That's when I hear- UH! from the back seat. I want gum! No, not in the car- you know why. Then the boy quips- you were trying to sneak it, weren't you? So we wouldn't see?

Jehovah's witness

The boy has never met a stranger. His birthday is quickly approaching and he is inviting every kid he sees. Friday, at the swim school, he invited one boy standing near him. After asking several times, the boy's father interjected. I'm sorry, we are Jehovah's witness and we do not celebrate birthdays. My boy is fascinated with religion, so I felt this was a great learning experience for him.

Why, he pressed. The man, not sure whether he should go into it all answers that he didn't really know because that is just how he was raised. But why would you not celebrate birthdays, my son asked. Well, every time a birthday was celebrating in the bible, something bad happened and then he went on to explain in further detail.

My sons response to it all- is that really true? Is the bible for real? We did have an animated discussion on the way home after all of that explaining that yes, many people believe that the bible is the word of god. One of the most important principles I want to instill in my children is that people believe many different things, but it doesn't make them wrong. Which is the biggest issue I have with christianity.

Athlete

When is an athlete no longer considered an athlete? I was involved in sports growing up. On the tennis team, volleyball team, swim team. I went to the gym and lifted weights regularly. In my adult life, I continued to lift weights, do aerobics classes, ride the bike, jog, and swim.

Then, I had kids. After kid #1, I ran a marathon. I rode my bike to Austin. Then I had kid #2 and fell into complete sloth mode. I trained for a half marathon and dropped out 2/3'rds into the program. I started and stopped exercising so many times. Right now, I average running about once every other week and haven't lifted weights in years.

But I did get a treadmill and the other night, I actually used it. My plan is commit 20 minutes every evening for a vigorous walk. 20 minutes out of my day- that isn't too much to ask. Maybe I should rig the TV so the power is generated from the treadmill.

Anyone watch Desperate Housewives?

No? Bree, one of the characters on the show, checked herself into a psychiatric hospital because she was about to have a nervous breakdown. Are there any mental institutions recommendations? I'd like to be close to home, so my kids could come visit me.

Shocker

Saturday morning, driving out of the neighborhood, my jaw dropped to the floor. One house completely burned to the ground and the one next to it was a burned out shell. The street is under construction and neither house was finished, therefore I am assuming no one was in either house. What terrifies me is that this is the next street over from us and we didn't hear a thing in the night!!

It is also terrifying that one is completely burned to the ground- how long did it take the county fire department to reach it? The blaze had to be visible from the main drag, so even if no one was leaving or entering the neighborhood, there must have been cars on the main road. There are some major disadvantages to not having city services and being at the mercy of the county. And was it arson? Is there an arsonist on the loose? In our neighborhood?

Monday

I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I want to go home. That's all I have to say. That and the weekend was great- can't wait for the next one.

Warning: growing experience ahead

It looks like it is official. I had a terrible experience several years ago working for two certain people in my department. In order for me to be a productive, happy employee I require a few simple things- responsibility and inclusion in the project. It is one of my biggest weaknesses, but I have to feel like what I am doing matters or I don't do it well.

It was 10 months of misery for me which was a downward spiral ending with me being completely unproductive and unsure of my abilities. And now they want me to work for one of the culprits. He is a control freak who redoes anything anyone else does. It is NEVER done to his standard of excellence. Every number must match to the thousandth decimal place, every 'i' dotted, and every 't' crossed. I understand that I am an engineer and I work with engineers and we do engineering, but it is not an exact science. We are estimating and using engineering judgment. That precision of accuracy adds nothing but introduces more room for error when you're redoing and redoing just to get it perfect.

So, I basically told the department that I will quit if I have to report to this person again. I am told I will be insulated, but I am preparing my resume.

Gifts

Gift giving was always a big deal in my family. Not that the gifts were extravagant, but they were thoughtfully planned and presented. My husband's family, not so much. For the past 2 years, I have not received a birthday present or Mother's Day present. And for me, it's not about the material things in life, but the thought and effort that goes into a present is what is special.

I have tried explaining this before, but I guess I have not effectively communicated my needs. We did have a long discussion about it last night. Last year, I was angry for months. This time, I am trying to see things from his viewpoint and help him understand mine. I look at this as a growing experience for both of us and I think our lines of communication are improving. Amazing after 17 years together, we're still trying to understand each other.

I did receive a special belated birthday present from my dear friend Darkle. The candles are my favorite scent- honeysuckle. Every spring the honeysuckle would come out and fill the air with its delicious fragrance in the woods next to my house growing up. I love watching the candles flicker and the bubbles of wax rise up and the colors separating into this lovely cream and green when lit. But I love the candles mostly because of the thought and effort that went into making them.

Happy Mother's Day

Thursday night was the boy's baseball game and I had the day off on Friday. Hubby and I dropped the kids off at school and spent all day on the road. First stop was to the pediatrician to pick up a prescription, then to a notary to get some docs notarized, then to Brookshire to look at a metal building to use as a laundromat at the trailer park. Next we headed to the complete opposite side of town to meet with an architect. Stopped for lunch and then met my mom at one off her client's house to pick up her treadmill that she was giving away. Yeah! I have a new coat hanger! No, I'm going to use it - really. Starting, um, tomorrow.

Then we picked up the kids for swimming lessons. After swimming, we headed to Lupe Tortilla for the end of season baseball party. The boy got his trophy, which is the main reason he wants to play. Saturday morning hubby left for work and we went to the boy's last baseball game. It was bittersweet as it his last season of t-ball. Next fall he'll be in coach pitch.

Then the kids and I voted and went grocery shopping. We hung out at home for a few hours and then went shopping for mother's day. Went out to dinner with my folks and the day was over. On the way home, the boy informed me that he wanted to make me breakfast the next morning and asked how to make coffee. All sorts of images of broken glass and scalding coffee flashed through my mind. I told him that I would make it tonight and tell him which button to push the next morning.

At 6:15 am Sunday morning, I awoke to light in the kitchen and the sounds of little voices. I begged and pleaded to let me sleep a little longer. At 6:45, the boy walks in with a bowl of yogurt and coffee in a plastic cup. It was so sweet. And thankfully, no injuries. Then I opened all my gifts from the boy and cried.

The kids played with some puzzles and I went to work on my accounting for the trailer park and laundry. My mom picked up the girl and the boy and I headed over a few hours later to celebrate with the family. My mom had asked the girl if she wanted to get me a present and she got money out of her piggy bank and then she helped my mom wrap it.

It was a beautiful day and I always enjoy being around my extended family. We will have a delayed celebration with my mother-in-law when hubby's back in town. I am so fortunate to have two wonderful, loving, thoughtful children and I couldn't have asked for a better weekend.

Pick a letter

Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter, including an explanation of what the word means to you and why. My letter, 'T', was given to me by Jo.

Tired - This is how I feel most days. Especially today since the boy was up most of the night. As for why- see the next word.

Terrible - The boy is badly sunburned after an outdoor birthday party last Sunday. I put sunscreen on him, but only put in on his face, arms, and neck. And he took his shirt off at the party- so this is how I feel when he woke up in the night because it itched and hurt.

Travel - I love to travel, although it has been sporadic at best since the second child was born and I went back to work full time.

T-ball - I love watching my son's t-ball games. It is one hour, once or twice a week that I can enjoy my children and relish in delight that they are still young, impressionable, and growing.

Train - Growing up, I knew that my father was an engineer. They don't make any cutsie kid books about chemical engineers, so the only engineer I knew about drove a train. I could not figure out why my dad didn't have to wear the striped uniform and hat to work.

Time - Something I will never have enough of.

Tenants - Tenants will eventually bring freedom and independence for my family. Call it the get rich slowly plan.

Tub - This is really bath tub, but it is a place that I find peace, serenity, and especially important while pregnant- a feeling of weightlessness. (And no, I'm not. Thank you for asking.)

Texas - The only place I have ever lived and where the majority of my family and friends live. It is home.

Trying - I am always trying. Trying to be a better person, trying to set a good example for my children, but many times just trying to get through the day intact.

IM world

It is a brave new world we live in. Within the past year few years, I finally joined the latest century and installed instant messaging on my computer. It is great to quickly ask (and receive) an answer when you're in the middle of working on a task. The reverse is true as well; it is a huge distraction when you're in the middle of working on a task.

It can also lead to bad habits such as not capitalizing anything or completely spelling out words. I have to stop and think when I am trying to type an email because my brain is in short hand mode. And I will never get used to grown men typing heehee, :) or any other emoticons. Sexist? Probably, but it still cracks me up.

Your turn!

What a week and weekend! Hubby was gone for 6 looooong days and finally got home last evening. We did have a fun filled weekend- Friday was swimming lessons and then hustled over to the ball field. The league hosted a cookout with a moonwalk and festivities. I served hot dogs and hamburgers for an hour and a half then the second shift finally arrived and I was able to watch the boy play ball.

Saturday, was a birthday party for the boy. The kids and I walked over and had a great time. Sunday was another birthday party for the boy and a friend and I dropped our boys off and took the little girls to a movie. In between the parties, I tried to catch up on laundry and dishes (something that will NEVER happen- the catching up part) and kept the kids entertained. I also tried to design house plans using 3D Home Architect. I definitely did not miss my calling, but it was fun anyways.

We had a good time, but I am so glad to be "off duty" for awhile!

The plan

This is a rough outline of all the tasks we need to accomplish in the next 3 months, really for my benefit, since you really don't care, but since I can't think of anything else to blog about....

We are closing on the little, old house May 15th. The house was built in 1914 for the sugar factory workers. The house has since been remodeled (badly) several times, stripping the home of any original details. The house happens to be sitting on a beautiful lot, located in a transitional neighborhood that we love and we feel will aggressively grow in value.

The original plan was to sell our home, move into little, old house until we get our plans together to build. Unfortunately, there is a potential mold issue with the house and the inspector did not recommend us living there.

The little, old house
We have three options:
1) Tear it down. This is the option I like least as it does have a history and I would like to see it renovated and preserved.
2) Sell house and they can move it off our lot. We will consider this option, but only if we can get some money for it.
3) Buy a lot, move the little, old house and renovate it. Sell or rent. Obviously the most difficult and time consuming option, however this might be the most profitable.

Our house
Prepare house for sale. Sell and/or give away stuff we don't want to move. Rent a storage space. Sell or rent house.

New house
Find and hire an architect. Decide on plans. Decide on materials. Get construction loan. Find and hire and manage subs. Try not to get divorced. Build house. Try not to get divorced. Move into house and live happily ever after.

Depending on the timing of everything above, we may or may not have a place to live. I guess we will deal with that issue when we get to it.

My rant for the day

If you send me an email and you actually want me to read it, do not send it with a yellow backgroud.

Wow- that's it. The only thing that has bothered me today. I must still be ill.

5 days off

Not much new to report. We are under contract on the little, old house. It was inspected yesterday and basically, if it is wood and attached, it is rotten. Nice. Someone replaced the outlets with the three prong ones- only there is no grounding wiring. Even has the GFI outlets in the bathroom. They only look to be at code. The house is completely out of level and needs additional supports underneath. The roof is shot. The fireplace is lacking the fire box.

We have one of our rental properties under contract, and another we are hoping to be under contract within the next 30 days. Our neighbors might be interested in buying our house later this summer. One of the tenants in another house who is under a lease option is making great gains in her financial world and may be ready to buy the house this summer. That would leave us with only one rental and a trailer park.

We have started the planning process for the new house. We have agreed on a rough plan and have started reviewing interiors. We need to interview architects, put lists together for subs, start getting permits from the city, talk to moving companies, get permits for moving, buy a piece of land to move it to, and figure out where we will live in the interim. Because of the condition of the house- mold and rot, we won't be able to live in the little, old house with the asthmatic girl.

Sunday morning I woke up with whatever the girl had Thursday, only mine lasted 2 days with a fever. I took yesterday off and am still recovering today and probably will be the rest of the week.

My baby boy has 15 school days left of kindergarten. Then I will have a first grader.

So, not too much going on.

Timing

Today is the boy's field trip. The entire kindergarten is visiting the zoo, so I signed up as a volunteer weeks ago because I thought it would be fun.

This morning, right before my alarm went off, I hear the girl coughing. Then I hear what sounds like throwing up and then screams for me. Rats.

Update: My mother-in-law was able to watch the girl so I could still go on the field trip. And she only threw up only once in the car on the way over. Yuck. The field trip was well, memorable. Let's just say I have a new found respect for teachers. A friend and I decided to join forces and we were responsible for keeping 7 kindergartner's from running off or getting hurt. Not small task. We car pooled with a dad of one of the kids and decided when it was all over, that we needed a drink. So we did. Too bad the Gingerman doesn't open till 2 pm. We ended up at Baker Street Pub instead. We did make sure to take off our name tags associating us with the elementary school before we entered the bar.

$1.18???

For a cup of coffee? That's the last time I visit the office cafeteria for a pick-me-up. I could have 24 ounces of diet coke for that price instead of 12 ounces of coffee. Isn't coffee supposed to be cheap? Before the "new and improved" cafeteria vendor, I could get a cup of coffee (the exact same stuff, by the way) for 60 cents. Hmph.

Reealllity

I can sense foreshadowing in the making. We submitted our offer Sunday, no word on Monday. My realtor calls Monday evening, a little jittery, do you want me to reduce my commission so you can offer more? No, hold tight I say. This morning, I send ask her to please tell the buyers they have 24 hours to respond, we want to make an offer on a different house. The buyers say no deal.

An hour later, the phone rings again. Ha! Amazing what happens when you don't care anymore. They'll take our offer, but need to close sooner. They want the 10th, we countered with the 15th of next month. Still waiting for the answer, but I have the sickening feeling this is going to happen.

Now I'm starting to panic. I realize that we need to figure out how to pay for all of this. I call my mortgage broker to discuss. Imagine that you can't finance a house and then move the house! Go figure. We need a construction loan. In order to get approved for the construction loan, we need plans and an entire list of the materials required. Hubby and I haven't even started discussing the plan, much less found an architect.

So, the plan for the moment, if the contract is signed and binding, we will buy it using traditional financing, try to sell our home, move into little house all the while formulating our plan. Then we will bum off everyone we know to crash at their place for a few weeks while we build our house.

Anyone mind 2 slovenly adults, 2 high energy whiny kids, 1 non-stop barking dog, and 1 barf and pee all over the place cat?

Another twist

I know you just can't enough of this saga, so I will fill you in on the latest. After hitting refresh on MLS every 30 seconds for three days straight and seeing the status on the house still active on market, I was a wreck. I finally got the answer on Friday- the contract had been signed, the buyers were doing the inspection that afternoon. Ok, fine, I can move on now.

Sunday morning, as we were about to head out for a family bike ride with my folks, the phone rings and I see on caller ID that it is my realtor. My heart skips a beat, I answer, and she tells me the contract has fallen through and we can have it if we're willing to accept their last counter and close quickly. Otherwise they will put it back on the market (not that they ever took it off).

Instead of bowing to all of their demands, we offered our last counter (which is only $2000 different, btw) and that we would close at the end of May. I expect to hear an answer back sometime today. And honestly, I don't expect them to accept it and at this point, I really don't care. So there, the emotional attachment is gone.

Happy Birthday

To Sara!!

Hope you're having fun installing that gravel path today.....

Overheard last evening

"Mom? Why are you working hard and Daddy is just relaxing?"

"Mom! I had peanut butter coming out of my tush!"

"Mom? Why are your teeth white and Daddy's are yellow?"

Fresh new look for spring

The black background was beginning to wear on me and besides, with nearly 2 years of blogging, it was time for a change. Like the new look? It's much more upbeat and happy. I am sure I will continue to tweak for awhile, at least until I get busy at work.

But, why?

I have a problem. If someone assigns me a task, I need to understand why it needs to be done. I am unable to just take orders and say yes, it will be done. I must first present my opinions on the matter and let my voice be heard.

I know this is a problem because the boy is the exact same way. He must understand the logic behind every rule. It goes way behind the innocent "whys" to everything in the world. If you can explain it to him in a way that he understands, he is 100% behind it. If not, well, forget it. It is frustrating, but once I understood this, it became very easy to manage.

The girl, however, is not this way. She doesn't care what you have to say. If she doesn't want to do it, she won't. And no amount of logic will sway her.

Future rock star

The girl has a fascination with sunglasses. She wears the all the time- including in the house.
Think we might have a future rock star on our hands......

Back on the roller coaster

I just heard from my realtor. The house is still listed as "active on market", so she contacted the other realtor. The contract has still not been signed and he said it should be signed today. If it falls through, he will call her.

I KNOW that I should not get my hopes up again. I KNOW this. But there's hope! And my hopes are up.

When one door closes.....

We submitted the offer on the little tear down house the middle of last week and they countered. Just as we were ready to agree to their demands, we were out bid. Instead of getting into a bidding war, we decided to pass. I was so bummed all weekend because I got emotionally attached to the idea. Oh, well.

Other than that, the weekend was great. Easter egg hunts, baseball game, birthday parties, and a large family gathering. Good times.

I made a telemarketer laugh

I received the same phone call on our other line from the american family value group (or whatever they call themselves). It was my second chance at debate, but this one was even less fun than the first. She would ask me questions and I would answer. Only her response did not reflect my answer. She followed the script perfectly and did not bobble.

Either the script didn't allow for objections or she decided to skip that part, but I started wondering if I was talking to a real person or a computer. When she finally decided to pause, I asked -"are you a real person or am I talking to a computer?" Then she laughed and answered that I had been talking to "Ok, real, live person, please remove our number from your list."

Update

I think I have once again managed to get us in completely over our heads. After days of debating my side of the housing issue, hubby came around 180 degrees. Except for the living in the little, old house part. He wants to buy it, tear it down, and build new right away. His attitude shifted so much, I was convinced he knew something I didn't. Like the house had already sold or he was using reverse psychology on me. We are submitting our offer today and it is nearly the asking price (which is unheard of for us). So, basically we're offering way more than it's worth and way more than we should and way more than we can afford (after we build new). Wheeeee!

Check back with me in two months when we're paying two house notes, working with an architect to design a house to agree with both of us, demo an existing home, build a new one as our own contractor, and trying to sell our house. In addition to me working gobs of overtime due to personnel shortage, running a real estate business, and did I mention two young children in the house?

Committed

If my company wins one of the prospects we're chasing, it looks like I will not see daylight in many, many months. There is not enough manpower available in the city and the ones we are hiring need training and close supervision. My counterparts executing a job similar to what I will be doing are working 14 hour days. Sounds like a great time to be thinking about moving, doesn't it? This just proves my point, I am insane.

Darkle, please come back!!!!!

Another great weekend

Friday evening was swimming lessons and then dinner at the in-laws. Saturday was a t-ball game, the spring fling for my office with moonwalks and pony rides and cotton candy, and then a birthday party at a nature center complete with a bunny show and treasure hunt. Sunday was household stuff and to my folks for lunch.

We went and checked out the house that I've hung all my dreams upon. It's a definite tear down. We're just not sure you can tear down in that area. I still think we could manage to live in it for a year. Especially if we built a garage. Here's my idea- rent out our house, build a garage with an apartment above on the new property. Live in the house while the garage apartment is built and then live in the garage apartment while the new house is built. We're looking at two years of transition- living in a construction zone and ending up with a mortgage the same size (or probably bigger) than the one we have now.

In other words, this idea does not simplify. It does provide close proximity to the elementary school (less than a block), much less commute time for me, and the ability to walk or ride bikes to the kid's activities and our family. The neighborhood is one in transition, although it has been for years. Most people are remodeling the existing homes with only a couple completely torn down. None have been torn down recently. I probably need to let this one go, but I'm not ready. I love the idea of living in that neighborhood and building a house to meet our needs.

I've got it!

I have figured out a great way to simplify our lives and build more free time into our day. And darn it if it isn't exactly what hubby's been saying for years. We move to a smaller house, one that is right down the street from the boy's existing elementary school. It also happens to be 20 minutes closer to work, a few blocks away from the baseball fields and closer to our parents. It is also nearly half the size.

Next year, the boy is zoned to a new school. This school happens to be 25 minutes from our house, in the wrong direction. His baseball field is 20 minutes from our house (with evening traffic). And the swimming school is a good 30 minutes away (with evening traffic).

So, let's add this up:
1 hour per day gain for work commute
30 minute gain per week for baseball
30 minute gain per week for swimming
1 hour gain per week for visiting folks

A total of 7 hours of extra quality time with the kids a week, we'll have to reduce our "stuff" vastly to fit in a smaller space and won't have the desire to buy more stuff, and the smaller mortgage won't suffocate.

I hate it when he's right.

Although, there are drawbacks. We probably won't be able to sell our house because there is glut of used homes in our area (still building new). We love our neighborhood. We lived in a smaller house before and I was stressed because of the lack of space. And the house I have in mind does not have a garage, but has been converted to another room.

I've been thinking

I know this one little statement sends hubby's stomach into knots. Mine too, when the role's reversed. But I've been thinking. I want my life to take on new meaning, to head into a different direction. I feel like my entire family lives on autopilot. I want to fully enjoy each and every day. To see the world with wonder and amazement that my kids do when they first discover something. I don't want to wake up with anxiety and dread.

I finished a book yesterday, The Lilypad List, about living simply. It is not a book with all the answers- in fact it doesn't have any answers, just questions. Some of the questions are how do you see your ideal life and what things make you happy. Some of the things that make me happy are spending quality time with my family and friends, swimming, hiking, generally just being in nature. I envision my ideal life as one more connected to the earth. Growing a good portion of the food that feeds my family. Greatly reducing the amount of stuff we have in our lives. Treating the environment and our planet with much more respect. Eliminating the blind consumerism. Doing things that I feel passionate about. Helping others.

This is in complete contrast to how we live now. We hop from one obligation to the next. I spend most of my waking hours doing work that I have no desire to do, coming home exhausted and stressed to deal with my children in the evening. We have slowly started reigning in the consumerism, but we still live in a house much bigger than we need and drive more than we should. I live in the suburbs of a major metropolis, in a very wealthy environment. The adults drive fancy cars and the kids have lavish birthday parties. None of this makes me happy. Ultimately, what makes me happy? Nature and people, not stuff.

The boy is challenging us

Since spring break, the boy has had more bad days than good days with his behavior at school. It is not just school, but he's testing his baseball coach, his swimming instructor, and especially us. Nothing significant has changed in our lives and we can not figure out why he is having more problems than usual controlling himself. If he is good at school, he gets to watch tv in the evening and can have candy. 3 good days in a row and he gets to go to Chuck E Cheese. If he misbehaves, no tv, no candy, and he does not get to sleep with his bear lovey. Last night, he was forced to delete his favorite cartoons from the Tivo. Tonight, he will have to throw all of his candy away if he misbehaves at school. One more really bad day at school and he doesn't get to go on the school field trip to the zoo. He'll miss out on a birthday party this weekend as well.

I emailed his teacher and she sent back good suggestions, but we are already enforcing them all. I am completely frustrated and at a loss for how to fix this problem.

Another year older

I decided that I would take the day off from work as a birthday present to myself. I have an extreme aversion to Mondays anyways and add the "I don't know why we have to screw with my sleep schedule two times every year" Daylight Savings, and it was a no brainer. The girl is sick and has been since late last week, and hubby had the day off, so the three of us camped out at home. We had too much fun celebrating my birthday with family over the weekend, so I used yesterday as catch up on laundry, dishes, errands. Yes, on my birthday. It was nice.

test

Some parents

I am amazed at all of the wonderful, generous people that I meet in life. I am also amazed at the people who try to take advantage of others and seem to have no compassion or understanding for anyone besides themselves.

My son is on a t-ball team and the coach and the team mom are married. They are wonderful, generous people and very devoted to their kids. This couple happens to have 3 kids under the age of 4, they both work, and they are both volunteering their time for the team.

It all started with collecting the money to pay for coach's gifts, the team banner, names on the back of their shirts, and snacks at the games. It was $50 a team member. I know the team mom felt bad, but there were only 10 kids on the team this year and frankly, that's just how much it cost.

One of the kid's dads sent out emails questioning the $50, wanting a break down of each item, wanting to know where his registration money went, etc. Fair enough. Team mom sent out the budget and then he argued with $20 for coaches gifts, $10 for snacks and water, and so on. The team mom was infinitely patient and kindly responded to each interrogation.

Things died down until today. Now he's upset because his kid didn't get his bottle of water at the last game (not that he asked for it either). And now someone else is upset because her kid didn't like the snack. I wanted to blast them, but instead my dear friend Sara helped me draft a nice email. However, it was not nearly as satisfying as telling them all to grow up.

Picture of the kids

Taken November 2005. It is the most recent one I have in my office.

Finally!

It was six months in the making, but we finally closed on the mobile home park yesterday. Now the real fun begins!

Kid's weekend

We had non-stop kid fun this weekend. Friday started with swimming lessons, then a quick shower, and on to the carnival at the boy's school. We happened upon our friends who their daughter is the girl's best friend and the son is in the boy's class at school. The boys loved the silly string fights and the girls loved the moonwalk.

Saturday was the opening day for baseball. The teams marched in a parade, played games, and had professional pics made in their uniforms. After a brief rest at home Saturday afternoon, it was birthday party time. I took the girl to the party and it turned out that she had an older brother who was friends with the boy. So, hubby brought over the boy. Then it turns out that the father is a flight instructor, building up time to become a commercial airline pilot, which is hubby's job.

Sunday, we headed over to a friend's house (the same ones from Friday night) and packed a picnic for a family concert in their neighborhood. After the concert and playing at their house, we all went out to dinner.

I did find the secret to well behaved children- keep them busy and entertained every minute of the day and make sure they are in constant motion.

Compass Bank

AVOID!

I haven't been this angry with a bank in many, many years. Total incompetence at each turn. First off, if you go in, it takes about an hour before someone will see you. Even if there are people sitting in their cute little offices. Then, they don't follow through on some very basic instructions. Um, I am sitting here with a CHECK that I want to give YOU. How about some service?

And their website? FUGETABOUTIT! After clicking around in circles for about half an hour, I finally call. And then finally get through to a real, living, breathing person. And they explain in order to set up an online business account, I have to talk to someone either on the phone or in person (hello- WHY do you think I like the internet???), fill out some forms and then they'll get back to me. Say what? So, after getting transferred 3 times, wait on hold for an hour, I finally am transferred to the 'right' person. And the dude disconnects me!!!!!!!!

If anyone wants a bank that has their chit together- I'd recommend WAMU or VirtualBank.

PLEASE talk to me!!!

I am so bored right now and I keep checking and no one is commenting and I am starting to feel alone in this great big world so PLEASE talk to me!!

I feel better now. Rant over. Carry on.

But the NERVE of you people to be busy!

Must....keep........going..........

Spring is here! And so are the crazy times that go along with that.

Saturday was t-ball practice, birthday party, night out with friends. Sunday was errands, family bike ride, date night with hubby. Monday night we had hubby's parents over for dinner. Tuesday night was a birthday party for my mom at her house. Wednesday night is the first t-ball game of the season. Thursday is free!!! YIPPPEEEE!! Friday is swim lessons for the kids and the carnival and the boy's school. Saturday is opening day for baseball complete with a parade and another birthday party.

I am so tired, and the spring season just begun.

Prepare for Easter

For some really odd reason, it won't let me link to this....

peepresearch.org

Dance, chicken, dance!

I had way too much fun with this.

*Tip from Sara.

Feminism

What a loaded word! What does feminism mean to you?

I will tell you what it means to me. To me it means choice and respect. The choice to live your life as you see fit, not as someone else sees fit. To respect other's decisions even if they are the polar opposite of your own. The word feminism means to me mostly to respect other women for the decisions they have made. It also means being an equal partner when in a relationship. Hubby and I had a discussion a long time ago with friends of ours from college. They believed, as many do, that the husband has the final say- he sets the course and direction of their life with input from the wife. They stated how can you follow on a path if two people are both trying to lead the way? Someone has to have the final say.

That explanation did not make sense to me at the time and it still does not make sense to me today. I think of marriage as a partnership. There has to be compromise, and sacrifices on both sides to further the greater good- the family. Sometimes I give more, sometimes he does. It all balances out in the end. A decision is not final until both parties agree with the decision. And the decision is typically better in the end because of the give and take and because both people have equally contributed in the process. That is what works for us. We have similar values, similar goals, and similar dreams. And we both agree that we are equal partners in this journey.

How about them Aggies?

It is the first time in nearly 20 years that Texas A&M has made it into the NCAA tournament, which might also explain why I have never watched a college basketball game. I grew up glued to the Rockets, but that never translated into watching college ball. I finally decided to jump on board last week. Thursday we surprised the nation by taking down Syracuse. We happened to be at a friend's house Saturday night when the we were playing LSU. Did I mention that these friends are Syracuse fans? And that my son wore his A&M jersey?

There is about 5 minutes left in the game and I am completely stressed out so I volunteer to pick up the pizza. We're up by 2, then LSU hits a 3 pointer. 3.9 seconds left and that's it. No basket. Game over. At least the pizza was good.

Life in the cubes

I presume cubicles are great if you need to hear what everyone else is doing and you don't actually have to concentrate on anything. The guy on the other side of the wall is looking at installing an instant hot water heater in his house, in case anyone cares. Which I don't.

Living on the edge

Hitting 'next blog' is a dangerous activity at work.

Overheard

Coming from the back seat of the car this evening:

The Girl: I'm going to throw you in the toilet.
The Boy: UH! That's not very nice. I'm going to throw you in the trash.
The Girl: UH! That's not very nice. You make my mommy upset.

I had no idea siblings started this so young...

It hurts

I finally have real work and it actually requires thought and engineering skills. Ouch- it hurts! It hurts!

Birthday party season

Last fall, I began stocking up on kid's birthday presents because I was tired of getting the invitation the week of the party and then worrying about getting a present. That was about the time that the parties stopped. I went on faith and bought more gifts in January. And finally, birthday season has begun. One every weekend for March so far. And I know there are a few more coming this month alone. I may have to restock quickly.

Everyone wants some

It has not been fun adjusting to the new budget, the greatly reduced budget. Before hubby got the "Big Promotion", we never had to worry about the leaks here and there. We never bought anything extravagant, but we also never worried about eating out once or twice a week, buying things for the kids, buying gifts, and so on. Now is a different story.

And it seems everyone is always asking for money. We get letters home from the school several times a week- yearbooks! t-shirts for camp! donations to the school! more donations to the school! buy wrapping paper! buy candles! more more more more donations to the school! Others may be sorry that girl scout cookies are gone, but I am glad. I felt so bad walking out of the grocery stores with their cute little faces looking right me - would you like to buy some girl scout cookies? How about a donation? On average, twice a week, a neighborhood kid comes by selling something or asking to be sponsored. It is worse at work. Not only requests to sponsor walks, bike rides, runs, but then for all their kid's stuff. And the office is always asking for money to sponsor something or someone. It is all so overwhelming.

I am not saying I don't give to charity. I give a portion of my paycheck to United Way. I donate to Red Cross, American Cancer Society, Purple Heart, Salvation Army, and my alma mater. But I also get several phone calls a month asking for more, several letters a week asking for more. I have no problems saying no but I do not enjoy it. I want to help everyone. But I can't.

What???

Tonight was open house at the boy's school. We sit through the PTA meeting, buy a few books at the book fair, and chat briefly with his teacher and head back to the car. When we get in the car, hubby turns to me and says "a girl came up to me and said you don't recognize me with my clothes on, do you?".

Thinking I misunderstood, I ask him to repeat. He says the same words again. My heart starts racing and I am not sure how to react. Then he says "it took me a minute to realize she was talking to the girl."

It was her swimming instructor.

5 things you may not know about me

1. I can't dance. But I think that I can.

2. I don't believe in god. If you have been reading my blog, you already know that. However, most people do not, including my family. I tried to talk to my parents about it one time and they became angry and it ended with my father telling me that someday I would.

3. I am scared to fly. Not so much scared, as in every time I step onto a plane I think that is the day it is going to crash. And I'm married to a commercial airline pilot. Ironic.

4. I have always wanted to learn to play the drums.

5. I am an engineer who loves to scrapbook. I even plan vacations around cute stickers that I find. Sea World has a great set...

Interesting Tidbit

Apparently, 20 minutes to quitting time is the sweet spot for hitting the restroom. A line in the women's bathroom?? A line? I work at an engineering company. There isn't supposed to be a line in the women's bathroom. No line, just like at a Rush or AC/DC concert.

What would happen if

What would happen if we gave up our large suburban home and traded it for a simpler home in the country on land

What would happen if I gave up my stressful, high paying job in exchange for living simpler

What would happen if the kids had more time in nature and the world, rather than behind a desk, computer, or TV screen

What would happen if we suddenly stopped juggling all the balls and just let them drop

What would happen if we had more time on our hands to fill as we wished

What would happen if we moved away from our tight knit family

What would happen if we moved away from our friends

What would happen if we stopped eating crap from the grocery stores and starting eating food we've grown and nourished with our own hands

What would happen if we moved far away from world class medical facilities

What would happen to my brain and psyche if I no longer was surrounded by coworkers

What would happen if we moved the kids away from their friends, their life, everything they've ever known

I worry that so much of our life is passing by while we check off each of our activities. I know that we are a happy family, that the kids are happy. We are all just very tired. Is the grass greener? Would we be happier? Would we be safer? Knowing that one of the best children's hospitals is within 30 miles is reassuring, especially since my little girl has been hospitalized twice in the last year for asthma. But would her symptoms abate in a healthier environment? How would I handle the lack of intellectual stimulation that comes with my job? We are surrounded by so many wonderful friends and all of our family. The kids love their school, their teachers, playing t-ball, taking swimming lessons, doing stuff with family. We live in a wonderful neighborhood with a lake and beautiful walking trails. Why do I feel like something is missing?

I'm gonna cry

Or so it sounded when I spoke at a school district board meeting last week. It was not my emotions about the elementary school rezoning, but nerves. I thought to myself that I should join Toastmasters and work on my public speaking skills. I didn't think about it until I received a broadcast email from work about a Toastmasters club that meets every Tuesday during lunch. So I went today and am planning to join. I feel like I have limited time here at work and I had better work on all of the skills I will require to survive when I transition from employee to entrepreneur, investor, and hopefully eventually employer.

Monday blues

I didn't fall of the face of the planet, I called in sick yesterday. I had a nice four day weekend, as Friday was an official off day. I decided to call in not just because it was a Monday, but also because I was tired of rescheduling big jobs around the house. Without the hubby and the kids around, I was able to file the huge stack of papers, purge three bags worth of paper out of the files, purge the kid's toys and fill two huge garbage bags, and catch up on my accounting.

Not too bad for a day's work.

The little thrills in life

I went to the county courthouse a few weeks back to file a deed transfer for one of our properties into our company's name. The lady at the desk asked if I worked for that company. I said yes. It gave me a little charge that someone recognized our company as real (even though it is and we run it as such).

I have decided that hubby and I view the world entirely different than most. One of the guys he's in training with almost bought an investment property but then he and his wife talked themselves out of it because of fear. Fear of having bad tenants, fear of not having tenants, having to fix things, etc. Hubby tried to explain that it's just like flying. You have to fly in all bad weather conditions, not just clear blue skies, because it's your job. The guy just looked at him blankly.

I think the late night TV ads and the email solicitations to Make Millions In Real Estate Without One Dime!!!! make it look like a cake walk. It's hard and requires time, commitment, patience, and mostly creative and positive thinking. We have worked hard on overcoming fear and not letting fear drive our decisions. And we still continue to do so.

The lone wolf

I sometimes feel like the only blogger that belongs to Homespun Bloggers who is not a conservative Christian. I joined when I first started blogging (nearly 2 years ago!) and I was introduced to it by my friend and coworker, Michael at Chasing the Wind. It seemed like a great way to network and "get myself out there". Unfortunately, I do not have that much in common with many of the bloggers in the network and in fact, find several of them down right offensive.

But I haven't left and I don't think I will. I've never been afraid to be one who sticks out, the one who doesn't quite fit in. It is obvious by looking at the people I choose as friends. I enjoy having people in my life who have completely different views from myself. I think it makes me a better person.

Life Path

Your Life Path Number is 1

Your purpose in life is to lead others. You have great drive and determination. Nothing is going to stand in your way.You seek out challenges and the spotlight. You'll take all the work - and all the glory.Status and success are important to you. You demand the best from everyone and everything. In love, you tend to take a protective role. You enjoy being the provider in relationships. You expect others to be like you, and as a result, you are often disappointed little selfish and vain, you always put yourself first.Remember, everyone already knows you're great - you don't need to remind them!

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Well, I can't say that I agree with this. I do like to lead, and well, maybe I do expect others to be like me as far as I expect people to be compassionate and am often disappointed. I used to have recurring dreams where I was protecting either my mom, my husband, or my kids from some psychopath. I do not agree that status and success are everything, well possibly success. I try not to put myself first, although if I don't, who will? So, maybe it is like me. What do you think?

Thanks to A Curate's Egg for the link.

Running out of ideas

I'm ready for my next assignment as I have run out of ways to keep myself entertained. I had to stop with online training when I found myself arguing with the material being presented. I can't shop because hubby got a promotion and along with it a 2/3rd's pay cut (don't ask). I can't eat because I'm trying to finally shed the baby weight. I can't exercise (much) because I don't have any energy because I can't eat. I've visited the ends of the internet and now I'm just plain bored with it.

My last project brings up moments of insanity (like the past two days) but I put out all the fires and am waiting for the next. I probably should be doing something productive, I'm just not sure what.

Easter baskets

My son is very interested in god, heaven and the devil. I don't want to discourage his interest just because his father and I don't believe in god or organized religion as it does not necessarily mean that is right for him. However, I don't want him to choose his path without knowing his options. I found a book on religions around the world that I purchased to help with this journey. What I do not want for my children is what happened to both myself and hubby. I was baptized in the church at age 13. I knew then that I did not believe in god and I did not want to go through with it. But I could not stand to disappoint my parents and at that age, was not strong enough to stand up for what felt right to me. Hubby went through a similar experience with his bar mitzvah.

Oh, and the easter bunny will be giving the boy this book. I can appreciate the irony.