The garage door is stuck

Um, the dog ate my car keys. All the power went out and I just woke up. I feel a little ill today. The voices in my head told me today's the day to clean the guns. Obviously, I'm not at work. There is nothing in parenting that beats having 2 kids sick, each with stuff spewing out opposite ends.

I'd rather be working.

Wrong Number

Actual transcript of a message I received last week from a wrong number:

Okay, I don't know if I have the right number.
Um, I'm going to check to see if I do or not.
And then if you do, then call me back
If you don't recognize my voice,
You know what, I'm checking my phone and
you probably won't recognize my voice.
So, don't worry about calling me back.
Just have a wonderful evening.
Be blessed.
Bye.

Own a Dodge Avenger?

If you own a Dodge Avenger, dump it NOW. We started having problems with it running rough, so we took it to our mechanic. He replaces something, it runs great for a day, and then it runs like crap again. This goes on for months and then my dad takes on the challenge. He works through the whole system, methodically checking each system and replacing various parts. Runs great for a day. Then we take it to another mechanic who uses up every resource he has in town including the Dodge dealership. No one can fix it. Another mechanic from the shop happens to be scrounging the junkyard looking for parts for another car and sees two pristine Dodge Avengers just sitting in the junk yard. Perfect condition inside and out. Obviously something is seriously wrong with the cars. Dump it NOW, you've been warned.

Fortune Cookies

Yesterday was my scheduled day to run. Michael was a bad influence and convinced me to go to lunch instead. Today, I had another good excuse why I should not go to lunch: saving money. Besides, this was day#2 that I brought the same salad for lunch. But he just wouldn't take no for an answer and quite frankly, eating lunch with him is much more pleasant than chomping on old lettuce at my desk, so I relented. We went to the best Chinese restaurant around, Panda Garden. And my fortune read:

"Avoid agreeing with people merely to keep peace." Ironic, don't you think?

His was "You are a true friend." A true friend to who? The fortune cookie?

They speak Spanish!

The Boy is in pre-K and part of the lesson agenda is Spanish. He quickly caught on that you add an 'o' to the end of most words, and your chances of getting it correct are vastly improved. Dad took The Boy to the park one evening and playing near him were two Hispanic boys speaking Spanish. The Boy turns to dad and says incredulously "Daddy, how do they know Spanish?" like his school has a lock on foreign language.

TIVO failed me

For the first time in months, we watched live tv last night. I am so spoiled by my TIVO as it was thoroughly frustrating to sit through the commercials. Caught the newest spinoff from CSI: CSI NY. Nothing's ever as good as the original. Part of the story line was the lead detective's wife was killed on 9/11 and they end the episode with him grieving at ground zero. I have mixed feelings of television incorporating the tragedy of 9/11 into our normal programming. Seems exploitive to me.

My point was I saw an preview for tonight's Survivor and it mentioned all new episode. Wait a minute, not season premiere?? Arg, I missed it because they change the titles of the shows, so my auto record from last season is no longer valid. Caught up on cbs.com and found the tribes were split by gender again and the girls won the first competition.

Wrong lyrics

I have a quirk. All right, I have more than one, but one that irritates hubby to no end is me always singing the wrong lyrics to songs. I love to sing. I'll sing along whether I know the words or not and if I don't know them, I'll make some up. Sometimes (okay, more than sometimes- shut up), I 'mishear' the lyrics.

Classic example:

'Voices Carry' by Til Tuesday. I always thought the lyrics were:

Hush, hush. Keep it down town, Mr. Scary.

Or Salt N' Pepa's 'Push It' which I thought was "ah, bull sh*t". In my young mind, that was much more naughty than push it, since I did not catch the oh so subtle innuendo.

But it's really easy to remember words to every song if you've made them upyourself. Try it.

Beach Boys anyone?

In the mood for some Beach Boys? Or maybe badmitton or Tex-Mex? Jump on over to Mister Crunchy's site for round one of his survivor challenge.

Walk to Cure Diabetes

Seems like every time you turn around, someone at the office is trying to squeeze money out of you. Diabetes, United Way, Red Cross, backpacks for kids, shoes for kids, my son's baseball team, daughter's band, all worthy causes but it grows tiresome.

Today, a pamphlet was handed to me with an eraser attached in the shape of a shoe. The kick-off for the walk to cure diabetes tomorrow. Here's what it says at the bottom:

" Hear about a day in the life of a child with diabetes

cookies provided"

Am I the only one to catch the irony? Or is this some tactic to pull our heart strings by telling us this poor child can't even eat a cookie like we're doing now. Hm, I think I'll go run instead.

Bug killer

The weekend before last I went on a road trip to visit friends and on the way back, I drove through a storm of love bugs. Literally. They were hitting the windshield as fast as rain drops and I had to stop twice to clean off the windshield so I could see. I knew hubby would think I was exaggerating, so I took a picture as proof. If you've never had the pleasure of trying to scrub 10 billion ladybugs off the front of your car before they eat through the paint, just know that they stink, bad. The smell lingered for days.

Back from vacation

My family has vacationed in New Braunfels since before I was born. Every summer, we would spend several days floating in the frigid waters of the Guadalupe and Comal, relaxing by the pool, listening to bad country music on the old jukebox. So many good memories of jumping off the big rock with my cousins, dad getting German pastries for breakfast, running to my grandparent's cabin for treats, almost drowning in the flume. Several years ago, we just stopped going. And my husband, who has his own summer memories of New Braunfels growing up, decided it was time to start the tradition again for our own kids. We always stay at Heidelburg Lodges, metal A-frame cabins that project sound better than a bullhorn. The place hasn't changed a bit in the 30 years I remember, except for removing the diving board from the pool. Liability reasons, I guess. Worries and day to day stressors melt away and the time passes too quickly.

Fog

I lost a dear friend this morning to a tragic motorcycle accident. My friend survived open heart surgery and then a stroke all to lose his life to some jerk who plowed through an intersection and then ran over him again as he tried to get away from the scene. I am so numb right now with bursts of sadness and anger coming through. I can't even begin to imagine the pain and despair his wife and son are feeling right now.

Ahhhhnold

I didn't actually hear much of the Republican convention last night because I was busy reading between the lines and adding my own little comments for my husband's amusement. Only he wasn't amused. Like when Arnold talked about coming to the country and listening to Nixon running for president and me repeating "I am not a crook" over and over or when Laura Bush came on stage and they started playing "Isn't She Lovely" only I was singing "Isn't this cheesy". So, I got a whole lotta 'shhhhh' out of him. Then he started throwing out insults about the democrats. So I had to explain AGAIN that I don't think Kerry's a good candidate for the presidency either. I think he's a spineless politician who lies continuously. But Bush scares me more. I know what he believes in and I know his path forward. And if you're beliefs are not exactly in line with his, too damn bad. And I happen to believe in equality for all, not just conservative Christians.

But back to the convention. The Bush girl's introduced their father who in turn introduced his wife. And while they were speaking, I was wondering to myself if this was an introduction or a roast. They jabbed their grandmother, Barbara Bush, Cheney, and almost the entire cabinet. What was the point?

But as boring as I find all this political hoopla, can't wait to irritate hubby again tonight and then follow up with more hilarious commentary from The Daily Show.