Goodbye

My cat of 12 years, the one hubby gave me as a Christmas present when he lived in Florida, had to be put down on Tuesday. He hadn't eaten much in a few weeks and at first, I figured he was eating a neighboring cat's food. Last week, I called the vet and they recommended giving him baby food and then gradually mixing in with his food. It worked briefly. He didn't eat at all on Sunday or Monday, so Monday evening I opened up a can of tuna for him- his favorite food in the entire world. I immediately became alarmed when he wouldn't eat it.

I dropped him off at the vet Tuesday before work fully expecting he'd need some medicine, maybe even a surgery for whatever ailed him. He just did not seem that sick. I received the bad news right after lunch. He likely had a tumor and his chest cavity was filled with blood, he was severely anemic and only had about 10% of his lung function left. I immediately drove to the vet to see him and to say my goodbyes. The vet had to lightly sedate him in order to examine him and he was put on oxygen for an hour afterwards because he barely made it through that. I opened up the cage and he could not stand up, but managed to crawl over to my shoulder and nuzzle under my hair, his favorite spot.

The vet offered to let me take him home and said he could pass at any moment, but I knew not only could I not handle seeing that, it would affect the kids in a traumatic way. I had to leave before they put him down. The girl asked when he arrived home where he was and I explained that he had died. She hasn't shown any reaction at all to the news. The boy took it much harder. He cried and then was upset with me for telling him. He didn't eat dinner that night or breakfast the next morning and has been extremely clingy with the dog. The dog wanders around the house, searching for the cat. He checks where his food used to be and where his litter box was, all gone.

I still think I hear the thump as his paws hit the floor when he jumps off my bed. I still expect to see him laying on the bed, waiting for me to come home. He was always the one to comfort me when I was sad. He is very much missed.