Thursday, November 02, 2006

Eye opening

Earlier this week, our boss suggested we leave early Wednesday and blow off some steam. The team headed out around 11, and played at Dave and Busters until the mid afternoon. The boss and one of the other team members headed home, so we headed to a bar a block away to continue our team building.

This is where the conversation gets interesting. One of the guys is married to a girl from Belarus, another is dating someone from Venezuela, the third guy is married to an American but has traveled extensively around the world, and there is me, the American girl. The topic of American women and basically how awful they are always comes up. I always try to defend my tribe. First off, I hate stereotypes. Second, I am one. I finally pry out an explanation- women from other countries 'take care of their man and understand women's roles'. Wow. Then I find out that they are offended why I pay, even if everyone else takes turns paying.
They feel threatened that women want the same things that men want and feel that this competition is bad.

I thought that I lived in a totally different world than I obviously do. I know that I live in a conservative state and work in a conservative industry with a bunch of engineers, but I had no idea that I would never be considered an equal by my coworkers. Several of these guys are my generation, one is about 10 years older. Fortunately, I am married to a man who loves me, respects me, and truly thinks of me as his equal and partner. I had no idea how rare he is!


TM said...

Scary, isn't it? It reminds me of an ex-coworker of mine. He thought American women were too pushy and brash, so he got a mail-order (well, the 90's version of mail-order) bride from China. She was sweet and completely submissive - until she got to the states. Then she morphed into a totally demanding shrew, and made his life miserable. He always tried to complain about her, and we'd just tell him he was an idiot.

Darkle said...

I don't think you would have been happy with someone that didn't treat you as an equal. You found the right guy to marry.